It's day three and I'm finding today rough. My husband had a really yummy looking breakfast this morning. Two eggs, toast, and fried potatoes with cheese. My mouth was drooling so bad. I had oatmeal. It was delicious, but my brain was yelling many expletives at me for not eating the other. I'm trying not to tell myself that I'm on a diet. I'm really not. There isn't much structure to the way I'm changing things. I know what I need to change so I'm changing it. I know more than anything, it's the amount of food I'm eating more than WHAT I'm eating. But still, there are lots of things that I want really bad but I need to have the willpower to not indulge. I've been trying to find ways to make my mind think it's getting the yummy great fattening stuff without actually eating the really yummy fattening stuff. It's a lot harder than it sounds. >_<
I wish someone could hypnotize me. LOL I don't think that would work, but hey, it could be an option.....
I am starting to realize that my addiction is food. It's such a horrible one to have. I think I'd rather be addicted to drugs. At least there is a treatment program for it. Being addicted to food is another story. We as humans need sustenance. I wish I could just walk around with an IV in my arm feeding me the necessary nutrients that way I wouldn't have to think about it. *sigh*
These are the moments where I just need to slap myself across the face and wake up! I need to stop making excuses for myself and get off my lazy ass and do it. I know I have it in my to change! I will change. I will stop at nothing to get my life on track.